When is Enough, Enough?

There is a story in the bible that gives us a quick glance at a very real moment between Jesus and his disciple.

Matthew 18:21-22 “Then Peter came and said to Him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”

Have you ever tried to make plans with a friend who is always complaining? It's the person who is ”literally going to die (like seriously)“ if the group doesn't hurry up and decide which restaurant to eat at. The funny thing is nothing ever changes the outlook of our complaining friends. No matter what the circumstance is, their suffering is continually the "worst thing ever (like seriously).“ It's as if the pain of hunger, while waiting for others to decide what the plan will be is so great that he or she is convinced they will spontaneously combust if someone doesn't make a decision. 

Now if you cannot think of someone like this, just be aware that we are all thinking about you. And, this is your intervention. Just kidding... sorta.

There is something we can learn here. Being negative isn't always a bad thing. Many complainers are just realists. We need realists. But, complaining without contributing, is counter productive. It seems like no matter what solutions are offered, complainers are unsatisfied. Their goal seems to be unhappiness and displeasure. Many complainers end up feeling left alone, like nobody understands. But, we have to go back to the beginning. What is your goal? Do you want a solution? Misery may love company but company loves positivity.

Like complainers, when you do not forgive, you become so preoccupied with the problem that you fail to see your own power to rise above the problem.

Your pain is real. I believe you. You should have never been hurt. You should have never been treated poorly. Whatever you feel is legitimate and yet, it does not change what happened. Failing to forgive is prolonging your pain. Forgiving is not becoming friends again or reconciling before healing. Forgiveness is about you. Forgiveness is changing your focus on someone else's failure, so you can focus on your healing. It is deciding to take responsibility for your quality of life. 

Holding another person responsible for pain we carry, strips us of the power to move on. Rehashing the incident over and over hardens our hearts and steeps us in misery. That is unforgiveness. It is like drinking poison and hoping the other person gets sick. This is the kind of behavior that attracts the wrong crowd. You want people around you who will empathize with you and help you heal. You do not want to be surrounded by people who will egg you on in your misery. “Bad company, corrupts good manners.”